And I'm sorry about the phone call, and needing you.

So, I'm sitting around my room on this Sunday morning in an oversize metal band tee from the boy, cogitating on how I'd love to write one of those blogs that actually make people money. You know, those one in a million internet people who actually profit from writing their thoughts and sharing their lives online. Unfortunately, to do that I'd have to have at least one of three things:

1) A "hot" bod, aka plastic surgery my 394902 year old ex paid for me to have, plus a decent retoucher that I found over myspace.

2) A marketable skill such as knowing how to apply make up, which I so do not have. I can teach you how to sleep through APUSH and still pass the exam, but I cannot teach you how to even put on mascara, because... I definitely do not know how. Seriously, I cannot put on mascara without dyeing several hand towels black and turning myself into a raccoon. I really wish I was joking here but I'm not. I could possibly make a video on how to break your nose while biking, or how to shop for designer clothing while "doing your homework" and watching TV shows online.

3) An incredible amount of luck and/or free time to whore yourself.

I could also teach you how to be a cougar/rebound slut, I think I could be writing my doctoral thesis on it at this point. I swing from crushing guilt to giddy happiness on this point almost daily, because I still don't really know what to think. Mostly, I know I'm just having fun being 17, but I never let myself do that, so why start now? But according to Boo Raley, it's fine as long as it isn't "multiple boys in a 24 hour period." Thank you for clearing up that point for me, gul! I have earned the title of "little make out queen" from my big brother though, and that makes me incredibly happy, even though it shouldn't. According to him, he can't take his eye off of me "for two seconds" before I'm getting myself into trouble, heh heh heh ;)

Since I'm lacking all three of those, I guess I'll just content myself with all both of the people who read this, and the steadily decreasing numbers in my bank account. I really don't feel like doing the mountain of coursework assigned by my egotistical teachers, because Economics/Spanish/Government/Physics/Art History/Literature is the most important subject in the world, and we will not function in the "real world" without it. It is essential to the continuance of human existence as we know it, and we will not survive the apocalypse with this timeless knowledge. Okay, that's my school complaint for the day.

I'm feeling rather useless, so here's my playlist of the last few weeks:

Bust Your Windows - Jazmine Sullivan

Fuck You - Lily Allen

Fireflies - Owl City

Weightless - All Time Low

Nose Over Tail - Alkaline Trio

Jaked on Green Beers - Alkaline Trio

Violins - Lagwagon

Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas

I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

Breakin Dishes - Rihanna

Shining On - Big D and the Kids Table

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship

Kiss Me At the Gate - The Monarchs

Cringe - Alkaline Trio

Beware! Cougar! - Academy Is

Little Bribes - Death Cab for Cutie

Whistle for the Choir - the Fratellis

Puella Quam Amo Est Pulchra - Bright Eyes

Happy Birthday to Me (Feb 15) - Bright Eyes

And a million others, but I highly recommend all of the above. This massive literature packet is screaming to be finished if I want to go out at all this weekend.

writing songs by text message

Yeah, walking around the Subway with my phone attached to my hand, texting furiously, is probably not the best way to get around, especially since it was the station I almost got mugged at (for real this dude tried to grab my purse in passing and I hit him). But I've been writing songs in my head all day, all week, all month, all the last 2-3 months and this is the first time it has been anything but utter garbage. So I've been texting it to myself for safe keeping, since nothing ever sticks otherwise.

You no longer are a melody

That in any way appeals to me

You are a place that I've always been

That I only visit when nostalgia hits

I'll sing this song until my lungs burst

Still every strain simply sounds rehearsed

Not much, but at least it's something. Hard to conquer the world with music if I'm not writing any, haha.

www.aardvarkandco.etsy.com

Rep that shh, bbs.

This one's personal

I think I can truthfully say that I have loved your child even before its conception. Before you hatched a crazy plan with an even crazier boy, before the act, before you took the test and learned that it was really real this time. Third time's the charm, as the cliche goes. Because I was there through every single scare, false test, and tearful early morning call when you were scared. We've all known that this pregnancy was inevitable, and so it became just a footnote on a text, an afterthought. "& oh btw, I'm gonna be a momma." 

And so this child has been more than a concept for many months. I've written and re-written this in my mind, even if you never read it. We don't know much, you won't make this real yet, or even visit a doctor. Not that I'm surprised, mind you, but still concerned. 

I wish I was there to be something, anything to help. I love you, both of you, no matter how this happened or how it turns out. 

Vague, unrealistic, scrambled, fitting. 

hm.

So I've got all of these ideas bouncing around in my head ever since my mom started talking to me about starting a business. It was pretty random actually, we were sitting around the kitchen/breakfast room talking after I got home from school on Thursday, and she just started talking about how I should sell my bags online, and start making some t shirts too. This is something I've always wanted to do, but never really considered as a definite possibility. 

I'm not planning on anything very big, just selling a few items a month. Maybe about 5 bags, some shirts, and whatever else. Not to "make a living" or try to create a "real job". Mostly for my own entertainment, and possibly even extra cash. 

My ideas:

I'm thinking an etsy store, get the boyfriend to help me out on the web details, make it look nice. I'll probably start out under "liz day love", since it's simple and it works for me. He's also helping me make a few web banners to link to the site, so hopefully some of you will post them to your myspaces and such. I'll make a few tote bags, I'll use some basic designs and just change the fabrics up on each one. I like to use corduroy for the outside, with a printed cotton liner. Get a few nice pictures of those, and maybe a few with some friends modeling (I already have a few in mind :) ). Then I'll do a few stencil shirts, I'm going to try to get some nice 100% cotton shirts. I don't want any Jerzees crap, I want something decent. I'm looking into dyes, I'd love to hand dye my shirts so they'd all be somewhat unique. A few designs in the works include owls, zebras, and an octopus. Not too original, I know, but we'll see how they turn out ;) I'm also going to do what I can to soften the shirts, wear them in a bit, because I just adored that loved in feel. 

Any comments?